Ok, I want to start with self-esteem because it’s really important and a decisive factor when running your own business, but not only – relationships can hurt or benefit from it too.
A lot of people suffer from the self-esteem related issues these days. Unfortunately, based on bad parenting back when you were just a helpless little parasite. That's how you became the way you are – more or less.
So, one of the worst things to tell someone to build their self-esteem is to base it on their looks and/or intelligence. Although these things are a quick and easy way to make you feel great in the moment, they also dissolve just as fast. And as we’ve seen with models, as well as super smart people (see:Robin Williams), building your self-esteem around vanities or intellect is a sure setup for failure.
As beauty, even for whomever you consider to be the the greatest muse, with time, it too will fade. And the same goes for intelligence or wit. Tragedies happen, smarter people show up and whoever used to be the smartest person in the room is no longer “it”.
And falling from grace hurts! Not to mention that some "intelligent" people have that annoying quality where one person has to be wrong for them to be right. It’s a win or lose battle, at least half the time. So few people are capable of conceding to another point of view. Because their self-esteem is almost inextricably tied in with their arguments and being right. And if they're not right, then what are they?
Well, wrong. Just wrong.
And it should end there. But it doesn’t. Because people will ruminate over battles lost in their heads, unable to move forward. Sound familiar?
I bet it does.
So, here’s a list of challenges:
1.BUILD YOURSELF AND SELF-ESTEEM AROUND YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS
What does that mean? If you just started your own business after everyone you know tried to talk you out of it for a million reasons and said “Igor! Don’t do it bro!!” or said “Cornellius! What about health insurance?” or “Milosh! What about your pension and 401K?” or “Gaylord! I’m leaving you. Have a great relationship with your computer” or any other some such cliched line, and you still did it – good for you! Awesome!!
So now that you’re all independent and hunting for game in the concrete jungle (NYC reference – just work with me here!) you get to hunt and eat what you kill! And that’s amazing!!
Now, it’s life on your terms. Sure, times may get rough, and your bank account may look a little thin (ok anorexic) but no one can take it away from you.
Well…except hackers! Just kidding.
Because you took a chance when no one else thought it was possible. When everyone thought you were crazy. But you did it anyway.
And you don’t have to have your own business for this to work. It can be anything like learning to play an instrument, or running a marathon, or skydiving, or having long tantric sex with your partner all night long. It doesn’t matter what it is. The point is, no one can take these away from you, because they happened. Because you did them. They’re a manifestation of you! So “Fuck off with your sofa units and strine green stripe patterns, I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let…let’s evolve, let the chips fall where they may.” said Tyler Durden (and if you don’t get that reference, tsk tsk! Fight Club is one of the greatest books of all times).
So, the challenge is: find something you really care about and for 7 days its kick-ass and build yourself around accomplishments!
2. READ EVERY DAY AND ALLOW YOUR MIND TO WONDER
To quote Carl Sagan, it’s time to be a wonder junkie again. To allow your creativity to re-emerge after years of society trying to homogenize you. Reading is such a powerful but neglected practice these days. It’s so easy to fall out of the reading habit and say to yourself – placatingly – that you already went to college. That you did the work. That you know everything you need to know and everything else is just bullshit.
But think of how many times you have an idea and don’t do anything about it. Only later to find out, when you walk into a meeting, or random coffee place, and overhear others talk about how they’re building this app that you came up with in the shower, or toilet! And you, you’re deadpanned. Feeling maybe like those people stole your idea!
Maybe you’re outraged. Maybe you’re discouraged. Or maybe, ideas are gems. And gems are worthless if not dug out of the ground and shaped into the beautiful stones we call, oh so “precious!”
So, the challenge is: read, get inspired and the next time you have an idea, run with it! You have 72 hours!! Clock’s ticking!!!
3. TAKE A COLD SHOWER
Now, I’m not a doctor, and if you have a heart condition or anything always check with your doctor if cold showers are right for you. Otherwise, read on!
Cold showers are a great way to prime yourself for uncomfortable situations. And I’m going to mutate and adapt a quote by Darwin here to convey this and say that:
Discomfort, if sustained and repeated, graduates into behavioral changes, and this into conditioning, and this into permanent personality changes.
So there!
By exposing yourself to unappealing situations, to discomfort, you condition yourself to become more and more comfortable with not only those situations, but others as well. You’re able to tackle things you before thought: meh! Or pffft! Or impossible! It’s a neat little trick to play on your mind and get back at it for all the tricks it’s played on YOU!
So, the challenge is: take a cold shower for 3-5 minutes every day for 7 days but make sure to check with your medicine man first!
4. DO 100 PULLUPS EVERY DAY FOR 7 DAYS
Physical challenges are great way to rewire your brain and release endorphins when you’re in a funk or just need to boost your mind. I mean why should performance athletes be the only ones reaping the benefits of doing awesome stuff!
When I started doing this challenge, I found it to be a wonderful way to increase not only my muscle mass, but also to improve my focus. Because what happens when you feel great is you act great too! 😉
Weird, right? Not really.
What is weird is that more people are not doing this and are instead engaging in activities that harm their health, like: smoking, drinking and drugs.
Now, I’m not a man of the cloth, and don’t like to tell people what to do (this is just an observation) and think that certain drugs can have their benefits on the brain, like psychedelics for example, but most drugs are not used for their cognitive enhancing abilities – to my knowledge at least.
So, the challenge is: do 100 pullups, or 100 squats, or 100 pushups, or whatever – every day for 7 days. No excuses!
5. STOP MEDITATING BECAUSE IT’S TRENDY AND THE COOL KIDS DO IT
I’ll be the first to admit. Yes! I jumped on that wagon and it was a: Big! Fat!! Let-down!!!
Why you may ask?
Well, because it didn’t work. Not for me. Because I don’t think the mind is supposed to be silenced. The noise, the angst, the dread, the love, the excitement, they’re all part of the fun of the living. Why would you want to be emotionally flat like a Tibetan monk and accept the powers that be?
Heck no!
Instead of meditating and trying to remove my thoughts and then accepting them back in and blah blah blah, I decided to dive straight into doing the things that make me happy.
Listen to my favorite songs. Have my morning coffee. Write for my blog. Jot down thoughts for my Creative Raw videos. And just keep on moving!
And I realized that I don’t need to join the meditator’s club to do that. Everything you need is already there. The only thing you need to do is change your point of view, your perspective, and you can do this by doing any or all of the above steps. Priming your mind is a matter of discipline – not talent, not intelligence and not gender.
So, the challenge is: stop following what others are doing (including what I’m saying here) and do whatever the hell you want! But do it!!
Well, this about wraps up the challenge ideas!
Until next time, stay curious!
"You are an interesting species. An interesting mix. You’re capable of such beautiful dreams, and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you’re not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we’ve found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other.” – the amazing Carl Sagan wrote in his novel Contact. 😉